Tuesday, December 26, 2023

Missed Holidays - Expected for LE, Continue for Disabled

When they go into this career as law enforcement officers, we know our family will be spending a lot of holidays, birthdays, dinners, ballgames, recitals and programs without them there; but we always think about the someday. Someday they will be retired and able to be present for every birthday, holiday,  dinner, ballgame, etc. Granted, it will likely be with grandkids, rather than our own kids. Hopefully they will be close by, or we will travel! Oh the dreams... but... trauma and pain crashes those dreams.
Nobody could have prepared us for this long life after trauma where he still misses  birthdays, holidays, dinners, ballgames, recitals and time with our family and friends.

We used to love having friends over for dinner, and going to friends' homes for dinner. We used to love going out for dinner, to movies, for hikes, playing games, so many things.

As I look back through albums and thumb drives, he is strangely missing from so many family pictures because he had to leave, or never went... life for everyone else went on without him there. There are family picnics, holidays, graduation parties, birthday parties for grandkids, even vacations where he was in the hotel room a lot while the rest of us did things without him.

Nobody could have prepared us for a lonely life after line of duty disability. Police work stole him away the first 13 years, we expected that. Pain and trauma stole him away the next 21 years (and counting), that breaks my heart every time. So often I need to be present for both of us, to always be trying to find the balance between the right amount of time with him and the rest of our world. It is exhausting.

Pain, whether physical or physiological or both, steals so much from the person experiencing it and the people who love that person as well. Those who do not have a frame of reference for actually living with severe chronic pain are currently making decisions about limiting options for care. These decisions have been a source of so much added stress, pressure, and high risk painful and invasive procedures that cost a lot of money with little to no benefit. There has to be a point where a patient can say "enough... just help me manage the pain and live life. I take responsibility for the risks." It used to be that way, but we see that eroding now, and are fearful of what that means for life going forward. Will life be even more isolated and miserable? Why does it have to be that way? 
(I know, I know... it is all messed up because of those who abuse illegal drugs... but those truly suffering should not be the ones paying the price for criminals and addicts)

God, I pray you show us your purpose and continue to guide us through this journey. There has to be a solution. 

In the mean time, check in on your LOD disabled friends. They're still out there struggling to do life, and although they've probably declined an invitation (or several) because they were not up to going out, that does not mean they want to feel alone or left out. They just are not in a position that gives them a lot of options. Pain is one thing. Alone in pain is yet another.

Friday, July 15, 2022

God cares for the lillies, how much more He cares for you!

July 15, 2022  
God, You know that I need You. I’m sorry for all the times I’ve pretended that I’m fine on my own. Please forgive me. Today, I come to You just as I am, and I give You all of my anxieties, cares, and worries. Please replace worry with peace, anxiety with hope, and concern with confident trust. I know that I am safe with You, and You can handle my problems. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Lord, i have reflected this past week that it has been 20 years since Ladd was hurt... 16 years of marriage before that, 20 years of life before that... 
I have learned a lot as I look back, but most of all, I have learned that you Lord have had me in the palm of your hand this whole time. Without you, I would have crumbled. Without you I would have been crushed. Thank you is not enough, but it is all I have.
Of anything I could ever ask or want for the reast of my life, I pray that my kids and their kids, my family, my neighbors, my friends, have a rich relationship with you. I pray that they seek and acknowledge your power and presence, sooner than I did, as Lord over their lives. That they know your peace and can release the weight of this world's burdens, and their sins, to you. ...because it is truly as simple as asking for your help and letting you direct what and where and when to let go.
Thank you Jesus. The hardness of the world is not nearly so hard when walking with you; for you take away the fear, anxiety and what if, so that we can deal with the what is one step at a time.

John 16:33 (NIV) "“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

John 3:16 (NIV) “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."

Matthew:28:11-30 (NLT)  28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.”

Psalm 46:1-6

"God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts"

Thursday, August 6, 2020

Victim Mentality

I am so tired of hearing people and their excuses... I just don't want to work with, or surround myself with, people who insist on living under the weight of victim mentality. Things rarely go as planned. People are messy. Life is full of twists and turns. It's far past the time to let ourselves fall prey to labeling ourselves as victims of this or that. 

When something, or someone, gets in the way of where I'm going, I can choose to get angry about the interruption, or embrace the journey. After all,  backroads have some of the most spectacular views that are seen at a slower pace than the billboard ridden freeways traveled at high speeds.

Embracing the journey, I've found, has provided some of the best experiences and relationships that I would have totally missed on my planned path.

I'm choosing to live intentionally. Seek God in every circumstance, and watch out for unexpected blessings. I will fall short. I will get sidetracked, but I will not be anyone's victim. I will not be defined by anyone other than the one who created me, and that is a good place to be.

All of life's struggles are not simply because I am ________ (fill in the victim group). It's time to throw off that weight and be free to live! Are you ready to join me? Your journey as a child of God holds so much more promise than any journey as a victim. Lets do this!

Thursday, November 21, 2019

legislative Update



                                             


Legislative Update – November 20, 2019

We're not giving up on the 116th Congress yet. There is work that needs to be done, including several bills that will have significant impact for line of duty disabled first responders across the country. I've decided to add this status update to my blog site to make it easy for people to share. Please share. Please write, call and/or email your members of congress. Our disabled first responders need your support. We have more work to do in 2020 and would love to spend time introducing more/new legislation rather than re-introducing these same bills and starting the climb back up the hill with the same load.
Thank you!

Bill Status Update:

(To track these, and other, bills on your own, register for an account on Congress.gov, then search by bill number, see bill language, action taken, sponsors and co-sponsors. Check your members of congress to see where they stand. Click to receive email updates on status.)

S1208/HR2812 – PAFRA (Putting America’s First Responders First Act)

Original Sponsors: Senator Grassley (IA-R) and Senator Gillibrand (NY-D)
                       Representative Pascrell (NJ-D)
Summary: PSOB Reform, particularly with regard to line of duty disability benefits. The following summary is provided by Senator Grassley’s Office.

Protecting America’s First Responders Act
Section by Section
Section 1. SHORT TITLE This bill can be cited as the Protecting America’s First Responders Act of 2019.
SECTION 2. PAYMENT OF DISABILITY BENEFITS UNDER THE PUBLIC SAFETY OFFICERS’ DEATH BENEFITS PROGRAM.
PSOB awards are issued as a statutorily specified one-time lump sum payment that automatically adjusts every year based on the consumer price index.  The amount the claimant receives is based on the date of death or injury.  This section provides that for both death and disability payments, the award amount the claimant receives shall be based on the date of the agency determination and not the date of death or injury. 
PSOB provides interim payments for death claims if the claimant is likely to receive an award.  This section increases the size of interim payments from $3,000 to $6,000 and ties it to the consumer price index so that Congress does not have to readjust it again in the future.
SECTION 3. DEFINITIONS FOR THE PURPOSES OF THE PUBLIC SAFETY OFFICERS’ DEATH BENEFITS PROGRAM.
Currently, if you are capable of performing any activity that is actually or commonly compensated then you are not considered disabled.  This section defines disability more in line with the definition used by the Social Security Administration.
SECTION 4. RETROACTIVE APPLICABILITY.
Provides retroactivity to all those previously adjudicated under Section 2 and Section 3 above, as long as they reapply within the next 3 years, and qualify for benefits under the new terms. 
SECTION 5. DUE DILIGENCE IN PAYING BENEFIT CLAIMS UNDER THE PUBLIC SAFETY OFFICERS’ DEATH BENEFITS PROGRAM.
The average PSOB claim takes over a year to resolve, with delays often caused by third party agencies refusing to provide documentation.  Currently, DOJ only has the authority to issue subpoenas for that documentation as a last resort. This section allows DOJ to issue subpoenas earlier in the claims process to expedite the processing of claims.



SECTION 6. EDUCATIONAL ASSISTANCE TO DEPENDENTS OF PUBLIC SAFETY OFFICERS KILLED OR DISABLED IN THE LINE OF DUTY.
PSOB provides educational benefits to children of public safety officers killed or disabled in the line of duty.  However, due to long processing times, many children lose this opportunity and end up paying for college themselves.  The Attorney General has the option of providing back pay to individuals who paid for their own schooling.  This section mandates that the Attorney General must provide back pay to the children of dead or disabled officers who qualify.

Link on congress.gov:
Status/Committee Assigned:
·         Senate – Passed Unanimously during Police Week, May 2019
·         House – Judiciary Committee
·         Chair: Rep. Jerry Nadler (NY-D)
·         Vice Chair:  Rep Mary Gay Scanlon (PA-D)       
·         Ranking Member: Doug Collins (GA-R)
·         Subcommittee: Crime, Terrorism and Homeland Security
·         Chair: Rep Karen Bass (CA-D)
·         Vice Chair: Rep Val Butler Demings (FL-D)
·         Ranking Member: John Ratcliffe (TX-R)
Current Co-Sponsors:
·         39 cosponsors on HR 2812 (30 D, 9 R)
·         15 cosponsors on S 1208
Call to Action:
We’ve picked up 17 cosponsors since July, but the House needs to hear from constituants that we need them to pass legislation that matters, especially legislation that recognizes and assists line of duty disabled first responders. New York residents (esp. 10th district residents), please contact Chairman Nadler’s office ASAP… even if you have already done so. Call, write and/or make an appointment to go into his local office regarding this legislation. https://nadler.house.gov/contact/
Residents from other states, please call or email your Representatives, even if you already have. They can always use a reminder. Check the list of co-sponsors. If your representative is already a co-sponsor, thank them. If not, ask them to please sign on as a co-sponsor. We have bi-partisan support. This passed the Senate unanomously. There is no political gaming here, just doing the right thing.
Contact House Judiciary Committee: https://judiciary.house.gov/contact



S1278/HR2560 – Putting First Responders First

Original Sponsors: Senator Steve Daines (MT-R)
                       Representative Ralph Norman (SC-R)
Quick Summary: Extends the federal withholding tax exempt status for line of duty disability pensions for the life of the permanently disabled first responder (currently, tax status of disability pensions reverts from exempt to taxable when the injured first responder reaches ‘retirement age.’ Current language is tenuous as to what that age actually is.)
Link on congress.gov:
Committee Assigned:
            Senate: Finance https://www.finance.senate.gov/about/membership
            House: Ways and Means https://waysandmeans.house.gov/about/committee-members
Current Co-Sponsors:
·         13 cosponsors on HR 2560 (6 D, 7 R)
·         3 cosponsors on S 1278
Call to Action:
Please call, write and meet with your Senators and Representatives. While our hope was for this bill to be passed as stand-alone legislation as a correction regarding a loophole that surpasses the original intent of current legislation, I have asked Rep Norman and Sen Daines offices to see what can be done to add this to the President’s tax reform for middle class legislation that I’ve heard rumors about. The urgency for this legislation has ramped up with new information learned about the current tax status of line of duty disability pensions. Apparently there is interpretation of the current IRS revenue rulings on tax status of line of duty disability pensions as it relates to "retirement age"  We have been going under the premise that retirement age followed the FICA retirement age, currently 65, which at least made a definitive line for disabled first responders to know where they stand. Apparently, there is argument that "retirement age" means the age at which the injured could have retired under their department policy... the policy they were hired under. This interpretation means that the magic age at which disability pensions become taxable varies from state to state, department to department, and even within the same department as hiring terms fluctuate over time. This interpretation boils down to a situation where nobody really knows when their line of duty disability is exempt and when it is taxable, particularly the IRS, and brings new urgency to passing this legislation to make line of duty disability pensions exempt from federal withholding for the life of the disabled party.

Without passage, disabled first responders who have already taken a significant hit to their income face losing another (roughly) 15-20% of their disability pensions to the federal government. Our representatives NEED to hear from all of us. In addition to individuals, they need to hear from your associations, departments, and unions… LE, fire and EMS.




H.R. 141/S. 521, the "Social Security Fairness Act"

Original Sponsors: Senator Sherrod Brown (OH-D), Senator Susan Collins (ME-R), Senator Tammy Baldwin (WI-D) and Senator Lisa Murkowski (AK-R)
Representative Rodney Davis (IL-R)
Quick Summary: This bill would
repeal the Windfall Elimination Provision (WEP) and the Government Pension Offset (GPO) from the Social Security Act. Both of the statutes significantly reduce benefits for nearly three million Americans… (including) …teachers, police officers and state, county and local government workers.” https://www.brown.senate.gov/newsroom/press/release/brown-collins-baldwin-and-murkowski-introduce-bipartisan-bill-to-support-police-officers-teachers-
In the case of police officers permanently disabled in the line of duty, if they do qualify for SSDI, their SSDI benefit may be reduced by 40-60% of full SSDI benefits because of the Windfall Elimination Provision. This applies when their agency has opted out of Social Security, even if the officer has worked in other capacities subject to Social Security, and even if they have worked more time in these other capacities (up to 30 years) than for the law enforcement agency that opted out.
Link on congress.gov:
Committee Assigned:
            Senate: Finance https://www.finance.senate.gov/about/membership
            House: Ways and Means (Subcommittee on Social Security) https://waysandmeans.house.gov/about/committee-members
Current Co-Sponsors:
·         35 cosponsors on S 521 (29 D, 4 R, 2 I)
·         224 cosponsors on HR 141 (170 D, 54 R)
Call to Action:
As you can see from the cosponsor count, there is a lot of support for this legislation. We’ve picked up 5 in the Senate and 34 in the House since July. Please call, write and make appointments with your Senators and Representatives regarding this bill.


HR2368/S998 – Supporting Treating Officers in Crisis


Original Sponsors: Senator Josh Hawley (MO – R)
                                   Representative Guy Reschenthaler (PA-R)
Quick Summary: “The bill would restore grant funding for law enforcement family-support services. The bill also allows grant recipients to use funds to establish suicide-prevention programs and mental health services for law enforcement officers.” Sen Hawley https://www.hawley.senate.gov/senator-hawley-introduces-legislation-support-law-enforcement-community-prevent-officer-suicides 
Link on congress.gov:
Status/Committee Assigned:
·         Senate – PASSED Unanimously during Police Week
·         House – Judiciary Committee PASSED
·         President – SIGNED  Public Law No: 116-32 (07/26/2019)
·         
Referred to Mark-Up and Ordered Voice Vote
·         Chair: Rep. Jerry Nadler (NY-D)
·         Vice Chair:  Rep Mary Gay Scanlon (PA-D)       
·         Ranking Member: Doug Collins (GA-R)
·         Subcommittee: Crime, Terrorism and Homeland Security
·         Chair: Rep Karen Bass (CA-D)
·         Vice Chair: Rep Val Butler Demings (FL-D)
·         Ranking Member: John Ratcliffe (TX-R)
Current Co-Sponsors:
·         11 cosponsors on HR 2368
·         21 cosponsors on S 998
Call to Action:
Please call, write and thank your Senators and Representatives.





Issues Working Towards Bill Language

Health Insurance for Catastrophically Injured First Responders

Disability Insurance Accessibility for First Responders

 

 

State Legislation

We are working on a database of state level legislation benefiting critically injured law enforcement officers. Whether regarding property tax relief, higher education benefits, work comp or pension benefits, or other issues, we want to hear from you. If you have bill language for any state legislation that has been passed into law, we want to add this language to our library. This library, once compiled will be a huge asset to those championing similar issues in their states. Send bill language and contact information to heidipaulson@thewoundedblue.org. Subject: State LE Legislation – (your state)

 


Wednesday, November 13, 2019

Survivors


Survivors... depending on the crowd, survivor can mean anything from someone who has made it through cancer treatment to being the last one standing after a stint of 'roughing it' in the woods. Generally, the term means someone who has experienced severe (life altering) challenges, beaten the odds, and come out on the other side.

When I hear survivor in the context of law enforcement, there are of course the families of the fallen... coined survivors because they have dealt with great loss. Those who have to figure out how to live with a huge hole in their lives. My heart breaks for them and I cannot know the pain of their loss.

Yet... my heart goes to the forgotten... those heroes who have been critically injured serving and protecting our communities. Those whose lives have forever been changed, disrupted, all but taken from them... those who get up every day to face challenges, pain and loss... those who have had everything they knew about life ripped away overnight... those who keep fighting, even when it seems like the whole world is against them... those who feel broken and discarded when they can no longer do the job they were called to do, because of that job... those who are here, but they're not... those who have families who are not allowed to grieve their huge loss, because they survived. These are my HEROES. These are the men and women who have learned first hand that simply surviving is not living. These are SURVIVORS. These, and their families, are who I am honored to serve, honored to know, humbled to call family.

These are the survivors I fight for from the depth os my heart. These are family.

Wednesday, September 11, 2019

September 11, 2019 - Thank You to Our Nation's Heroes



Thank you to the Laurel community and the Exchange Clubs of Laurel and Billings for the opportunity to honor our nation’s heroes on this 18th anniversary of 9-11. We owe a great debt to all those who have served and continue to serve to protect our most vulnerable at home and abroad… and the families that enable them to do so.

My great uncles fought for the freedom of all Americans in the Civil War. My grandpa was a medic in Siberia during WWI while my grandma worked in Washington DC processing war risk insurance claims. Grandpa's brothers served on the front in France.

My dad was in Army intelligence during the Korean War, and my husband served 2 tours in the South Pacific as a Marine before he became a police officer. He proudly served Billings along side of many other men and women called to serve our community.

Like most of you, we will never forget where we were when we heard the news on 9/11/01. Images of the towers, the Pentagon and the field in Pennsylvania are forever embedded in our minds and on our hearts. Images of strangers helping strangers as they flooded the streets through the dust and debris, while first responders ran upstream toward ground zero and continued sifting through the rubble for days, weeks and months. We remember this nation coming together in solidarity to rise through the ashes… together, stronger, united… that is the embodiment of faith, courage, strength and grit that our country was founded on. 

Our Constitution begins:
We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.


The average lifespan of a written national constitution is just 17 years.

Our US Constitution is 232 years old, and our Declaration of Independence is 243 years old.

The Declaration of Independence states why the United States became a nation. The Constitution sets up the foundational rules and by-laws of our nation.

Are these just documents, or are they foundational truths? Have they survived far beyond the odds because of the paper they are written on? Because of those who wrote them or fought to defend them? Or have they survived because they are based on the truth of an even longer standing document... the Holy Bible?

The Declaration of Independence starts out with... 
"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

Our founders recognized that absolute truth exists. Right and wrong; moral and immoral, legal and illegal – these emanated from a Creator.” (Stephen McDowell) These are not ideas handed down from a ruler, dictator or flawed person.

We are a self-governing nation, meaning no person... governing, enforcing or regular citizen... is above the law.

It means that we need citizens willing to serve and protect this foundation locally, nationally and internationally. Today, we honor those who have and do put themselves in harms way, to make this a safer place for us all. We are thankful for those who ran in on 9/11 as well as those who stepped up to defend our country and communities before and since that day.

Nationally, about 7 % of Americans serve in our military. In Montana, nearly 11% serve.

Additionally nearly 10% of US citizens serve locally as members of Police, Fire and EMS. When adjusted for overlap (many first responders have served in our military), this means that nearly 115 of every 1000 (11.5 of every 100) Montanans has served our country and/or community. Many have died or been injured in the process.

So far this year, 85 law enforcement officers across the country have lost their lives in the line of duty. So far this year, we have lost 142 to suicide. This is the 3rd year in a row where suicides are set to outpace line of duty deaths. The effects of cumulative PTSD among first responders are real. Our first responders face circumstances every day that most of us couldn’t deal with for just 1 day. They deploy every shift ready for battle… ready to serve… ready to step in between a stranger and danger. They look evil in the face, and they pray to go home at the end of their shift. They cannot forget the sights, sounds, smells and feel of tragedy and evil. Our peer support network with The Wounded Blue is just one organization working to combat the stigma of PTSD and get help to those who need it. Our family support through How2LoveOurCops is helping spouses to recognize signs and know where to get help. 

Our protectors need to know that they are appreciated and needed. They need to know that what they do matters to those that they serve.

In addition to knowing families and departments that are torn apart by line of duty deaths, I have had the pleasure of knowing many who have been permanently disabled while serving their communities. These heroes have been shot, run over, dragged, stabbed, assaulted, etc. They have given up to the edge of their life in service to strangers. Their families have sacrificed much, yet many feel abandoned by their departments and the very communities that they serve. With today’s cultural climate, our country’s disabled first responders are in many ways this generation’s “Vietnam Vets”   While we’ve largely recognized the error that we as a country made in abandoning those men and women who served in Vietnam, we have not yet realized that abandoning those who serve locally is equally tragic.

What an incredible honor to call these heroes friends. What an honor to serve them through The Wounded Blue with peer support counseling and legislative action, and to serve their families through How2LoveOurCops. Most people dream about super heroes. I call them friends!

Thank you to all who are are ready to run towards danger when disaster strikes, when communities suffer mass casualties or acts of terrorism… Thank you to those who are ready when a child is abused, lost or runs away, when an elderly person falls, or when a school, church or business is vandalized or attacked. They serve to keep our neighborhoods safer… for our families and theirs. These heroes serve every day, in all kinds of weather and under circumstances most of us cannot imagine. They face the worst that humanity has to offer… every day.

The next time you see a police officer, fire fighter, EMS worker or member of our armed forces, please tell them thank you. The next time you see a spouse or child of one of these heroes, please tell them you appreciate their sacrifice… the missed holidays, birthdays, school events and ballgames. We owe our heroes more than a simple thank you can convey, yet a simple thank you means a lot in a world that tends to take what they do for granted.

Thank you for your support of this event. Walk through the flags. 
Think about the heroes they represent. 
Say a prayer for our heroes… and their families.

God bless America. 
God bless you.


Officer Down Memorial Page, https://www.odmp.org/ , 9/9/19
Blue Help, https://bluehelp.org/, 9/9/19
Homeland Security Report 2017
Pew Research 2017