It may seem like I'm being helpful to hold a container close for my dad to spit in when he's brushing his teeth. But... I'm not helping him by insisting he do it my way. If he wants to lean in from his wheelchair to spit in the sink, then my job us to push his chair closer to the sink so he's in a position to spit.
When someone loses their independence, suddenly the little things mean so much more. If we as caregivers fail to see this, we can find ourselves fighting unnecessary battles.
If we as caregivers get absorbed in how we do things just to get them done, we can create agitation, defensiveness and resistance. We can miss the opportunity to empower the person we are caring for. We can miss the blessing of helping them maintain control over some part of their life... when the little things are huge things, we need to be aware of the little things.
When someone loses their independence, suddenly the little things mean so much more. If we as caregivers fail to see this, we can find ourselves fighting unnecessary battles.
If we as caregivers get absorbed in how we do things just to get them done, we can create agitation, defensiveness and resistance. We can miss the opportunity to empower the person we are caring for. We can miss the blessing of helping them maintain control over some part of their life... when the little things are huge things, we need to be aware of the little things.
A lesson from depending on God to allowing our loved ones being independent. My husband resides in the same area of the facility as Heidi's dad. Frequently, I get the question or similar one--What does he want to eat or drink? Or what would he like to do? And most often my response is "Please ask him?"
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