Let me spit where I want... a lesson from my dad

It may seem like I'm being helpful to hold a container close for my dad to spit in when he's brushing his teeth. But... I'm not helping him by insisting he do it my way. If he wants to lean in from his wheelchair to spit in the sink, then my job us to push his chair closer to the sink so he's in a position to spit.
When someone loses their independence, suddenly the little things mean so much more. If we as caregivers fail to see this, we can find ourselves fighting unnecessary battles.
If we as caregivers get absorbed in how we do things just to get them done, we can create agitation, defensiveness and resistance. We can miss the opportunity to empower the person we are caring for. We can miss the blessing of helping them maintain control over some part of their life... when the little things are huge things, we need to be aware of the little things.

Searching for Hope

As I look at the headlines and all that is in our news these days...
As I talk to those who have experienced great loss and/or are walking through extremely difficult times...
As I hear about those who have driven themselves to overwhelming fear over what might be...
I am convinced of one thing. We need HOPE.
So, I decided to do a word study on hope. Here's what I found.

First, I turned to a concordance and found "hope" in both the old and new testaments - familiar verses that inspired me to dig in.
Next, I typed "hope" into a Google search. Yikes! Aside from the definitions, that included the word archaic in more than one instance; many of the items Google returned referenced lack of hope, loss of hope and illusion of hope.
Using a graphing utility that searches text and literature over time, this chart reflects the usage of the word hope over time.

Usage of the word hope in English literature

Interestingly, we seem to be searching for and using the word a bit more these days. It appears that we are searching for hope and lamenting a lack of hope. Is a lack of hope the result of the negative culture we live in? Or, is the negative culture a result of our lack of hope? I believe it is the later, and that our lack of hope is actually due to our misguided focus on where, whom, or what we attempt to find our hope in.

We need hope in order to sort out meaning, purpose, goals, vision, future. God created us to be hopeful beings. He created us to desire, to expect, to dream. But, where do we place our hope?
No person can be all to everyone. People disappoint. We make mistakes. We step on each others toes and we put our own feet in our mouths.
No thing can be the source of our hope. Things break, expire, become obsolete.
We can't find lasting hope in a place. Places change. Fires, tornadoes and floods continually are at work changing places.
So... what always was, is and will be? What can we put hope in that doesn't change, doesn't expire, doesn't erode? God's word has never changed since the beginning of time. Some say God's word is archaic. Hmmm.. there's that word again. Are these the same people who say that hope is archaic? Are they the same who write their articles about lack of hope and hopelessness?
Let's start in the old testament and work forward through 4 verses that talk about the hope that God created us to have.

Psalm 42:5 Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. 

David was a man who, buy all worldly standards, should have been hopeless. He was singled out and hunted down by a man who was jealous and fueled by hate. Yet, David was hopeful. Sure, he had his moments of questioning God's plan and his own purpose, but his hope was grounded in God. This Psalm is about David setting his mind back into perspective. It's about him reminding himself not to be discouraged because his hope is in God, not his circumstances or others. He's reminding himself, and us, that no matter what our circumstances or how bleak the situation, there is a foundation of hope in God that cannot be shaken or broken. That hope is a source of joy, comfort and a reason to persevere that nobody can take from him. It is hope that the hate of others cannot defeat. It is hope that doesn't expire, change or ever run out.

Isiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

I love this passage. The preceding verses talk about weariness, weakness and stumbling These are the very things that these articles about hopelessness are rooted in. Yet, the solution, the inspiration to persevere in spite of weariness is hope in the Lord. 

Listen to this "Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength." (emphasis is mine)

Do I know what weariness really is? I think so. (Of course if I look around there are certainly those with far more to be weary from.... those imprisoned for their faith under horrible conditions, those who are driven from their homes and persecuted for simply believing in God, those whose businesses are shut down because they don't want to compromise their own beliefs)

Yet, I am weary. I am in a particularly weary time of my life right now... a good reason for the timing of the word study on hope.

Putting my trust in the Lord and knowing that He is the same today as He will be tomorrow; that He is truth, strengthens me. Seeking His guidance, direction and balance grounds me. Knowing His plan is bigger than me and bigger than now, restores my hope. Mercy, forgiveness and eternity are His. This frees me to hope.

1 Corinthians 15:19  If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.

This verse follows verses that talk about Jesus' death and resurrection. These verses talk about how futile (hopeless) faith would be if Jesus had not in fact been raised from the dead for the forgiveness of our sins. This verse talks about how sad our hope would be if it were merely for this life - in the people, places and things that surround us - rather than for eternity with Christ. No matter what happens in this world, no matter what falls apart, fails, breaks down or is destroyed by selfish people, I know that there is another place waiting beyond this present where evil does not exist - where weariness and pain do not exist. That hope in eternity is a greater hope than hope in the present.

Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.

This is where my hope lies - faith, certainty - I know that I know. 

God's word is true.

God's word is unchanging.

God's son is Jesus.

Jesus lived and died for me.

God's Holy Spirit is with me.

I am a sinner and make mistakes, but I am forgiven.

This world is not my forever home. Won't you be my neighbor?

Thank You Veterans!

This morning I woke up with a Marine, had coffee with my dad and other vets, then came to work with a Korean war vet... blessed!

To all of you who serve and have served our country... at home and abroad... and to all who serve and have served on the streets in our local communities... thank you for your service and sacrifice. You are the heroes that make this country great. You and your families pay a great price for us, and we appreciate you.
Thank you! Happy Veteran's Day

Lord, Let Us Build Up Our Families

“Let us build up these towns.” He said to Judah, “and put walls around them with towers, gates and bars. The land is still ours, because we have sought the Lord our God; we sought him and he has given us rest on every side.” So they built and prospered. - 2 Chronicles 14:7

While King Asa was referring to rest from physical warfare and the attack of opposing nations, there are many other battlefields as war rages all around us.

This morning, in the early dawn of a new day that comes on the heals of a late night filled with battle stories of injured heroes and their spouses, I was drawn to this verse. The words jumped off the page as I read of first one king who lead his people to follow God, then another who turned them away…

I’ve read these words many times, yet this morning I see them applying to families – relationships hardened by battle scars, PTSD, trauma, injustice, isolation, fear… 

Lord, let us build up our families – nothing and no-one can take your place as the cornerstone and shield – towers, gates and bars – that protect us. Let us seek you and have rest on every side. Then, let us use that time of rest to help others find refuge and rest too!

You're a Christian in a life of pain. I'm not and life's a party... explain that one to me!

It's come up from time to time, and again just this week, where someone has said something along these lines to Ladd. "So you're a Christian, yet so much bad stuff has happened to you and you live in so much pain. I'm not a Christian, and my life is good. I'm on the top of my game. How has God helped you?"

Often these words are spoken in a bitter tone that seems to contradict the idea that their life really is so good... similar to Professor Radisson in the God's Not Dead film. Often these words seem to be spoken by someone who is young, and possibly immature... now I'm generalizing, but this is based on personal observation/experience, not merely speculation.

Ladd's answer might go something like this...

Well, when I was your age, I had already served two tours of duty overseas as part of a US Marine peacekeeping force defending the freedom of people I did not know; representing a country that I love and willing to die for the freedom we have. I was beginning my career as a law enforcement officer, serving people who did not know me and who often mocked me because of my position, not because of anything I did (or didn't) do personally. While I did not know them, I was willing to put my life in danger for them. I saw the evil that people are capable of when they live for themselves with an attitude that they could take whatever they could get from life, rather than serve and put others first. I saw the hurt that comes from selfish lifestyle and choices, and I saw many people who thought they were "on the top of their game" fall to the bottom because of their self serving lifestyle.

Through my service, I was building character... the part of each of us that exists and comes to the forefront when nobody is around to see. Did I make mistakes? Yes. Did I let those mistakes define me or give up trying to live a life to serve? No.

Yes, some really bad stuff has happened in my life and to me, but... there is a fundamental difference between that bad stuff and the evil that exists around us being perpetuated by selfishness. God did not cause me to get hurt. Rather, He allowed others to make choices, in this case choices to drive impaired or distracted. Their choices, their actions, have caused me great pain. God didn't cause them to make those choices, but he allows each of us to make choices every day. Often the choices we make effect others around us in very profound ways. It was God who walked me through those times in the shadow of those choices, and it is He who is using that experience to help encourage others. If not for His clear presence, I would not be here, and I would rather be "on top of His game" than my game any day.

God has brought me through the effects of evil many times throughout my life, including being shot at and witnessing horrible situations that could easily haunt my memories. He has walked with me as an example of hope despite pain. He has allowed me to be a witness to His healing power and deep compassion. Although in pain, I am content to continue to choose to serve and to put others before me, rather than see people and situations only as what I can gain from them. I am far more happy and content in spite of my difficulties because of the peace I have in Christ. At "the top of His game" I can be at peace with God and myself whatever the day brings, rather than be in constant turmoil seeking what I can gain at someone else's expense.

Being Thankful for "Boring"

Thankfulness Pumpkin Centerpiece

When things go wrong, we realize the full magnitude of so many things we take for granted because they've been going right.

• The sickness of a child - How many healthy children are taken for granted, unappreciated and mistreated or treated like burdens? How many children have parents who fail to thank God for the gift of healthy children?
• The loss of use of a hand - How many times have I given up because I couldn't get something in a tight spot or untangle a knot? How often have I complained because I couldn't carry a big enough load with two hands and had to make another trip?
• The death of a loved one - How many times have I driven past instead of stopping to visit? How many times have I sat in the same room with the TV on and not engaging in the lives of those around me? How many times have I failed to listen and hear?
• A broken down appliance - How many times have I taken food out of the refrigerator or started a load of laundry without being thankful for the opportunity to do so?
• The persecution of Christians - How many times have I sat in my living room with my Bible and various resources? How many times have I listened to Christian radio? How many times have I gone to church? How many times have I acknowledged how much of a blessing it is to be able to do this without fear of violence or persecution?

I've often thought and prayed for "boring" - a section of life where nothing dramatic or unexpected happens. Yet, have I appreciated those times when they came? Or, have I wasted them by not even acknowledging them when they were present? Did I draw nearer to God and thank Him for the average/nothing happening here day? Or, did I coast through unaware until the next crisis, and pray again for boring and uneventful?
Maybe if I appreciated "boring" more, there wouldn't be a need for me to grow through crisis. Maybe I need to be more thankful for the crisis times and for the lessons they have taught me, for the friends they have brought me, and for the growth of my faith in God that they have allowed me to experience. Maybe God knew all along that I would waste the "boring"; yet "boring" really isn't all that boring, but instead a matter of perspective and contentment.
Hmmmm....

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:11-13 (ESV)

"Believe it or not, the hospital part is going to be the easy part"

I've written on this topic before, but feel lead to do so again. Forgive the redundancy, I suppose the weight of this topic could be simply because when we walk through life changing trauma, illness or tragedy each moment can feel like an unbearable load that we simply want to get through or past. Yet, with many of these situations, the struggle is ongoing and the changes permanent. Like when running a marathon, we need to do more than just get through it. We need to savor the sparks of light, actively seek each positive as if it were bonus points or extra fuel in a video game. With this in mind, I hope that you find encouragement today!

On the night of my husband's career ending car stop almost 13 years ago, a very dear friend and pastor told me this... "Believe it or not, the hospital part is going to be the easy part." As Ladd underwent surgery to repair numerous internal injuries, including a transected aorta, a ruptured diaphragm and collapsed lungs, I found these words to be surreal. Thirteen years later, no more true words have been said. 
Life after the hospital... when the support dwindles and the reality sinks in... when bills come due and personality changes are evident... when life hits full force and just keeps coming... that is the really hard part. That is the part that takes pulling yourself up by the bootstraps when you would rather curl up in a ball and just give up or run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. That is the part that takes everything you have in you... and then some. Many of you know this all too well, or know someone who is currently walking this path. We each have different struggles and trials, and the reality is that some days are very hard to see as a gift. Yet, we push on. Tonight I challenge each of you to something our family deemed "thankfulness" In good times and bad, when things seemed their darkest, every evening as we sat down for dinner, we went around the table and each member of the family told something they were thankful for. Sometimes that's been hard. Sometimes it was something little like "band aids" (we started this when our son was 6 and he's always been one to get a ding here and there), or "no peas for dinner." Other times it was for big things like getting to stand for a few minutes or take a few steps out of the wheel chair, or being together again after an out of state hospital stay. The point is, by focusing on the blessings, no matter how small some may seem, we were able to pull out of those dark times and move forward into the light. This focus shift would not have been possible without much prayer and without also focusing on God's promise, for His light is able to shine abundantly in the darkest of times.
In just over a week Ladd and I will celebrate our 28th anniversary. In a couple of months, our little boy will graduate from high school. Ladd has walked our little girl down the isle, and we have held our grand babies close. We have cried and we have laughed, but we have done it together.
Our family is closer, our bond is tighter, and our love is deeper because we have shared our hopes, our dreams, our sorrows and our thankfulness. I pray the same for your families tonight and in the days to come. Tonight, I am thankful for all those that are in our lives. Our paths have crossed for a reason, and I am blessed.
God bless you all. 
Goodnight.