You're a Christian in a life of pain. I'm not and life's a party... explain that one to me!

It's come up from time to time, and again just this week, where someone has said something along these lines to Ladd. "So you're a Christian, yet so much bad stuff has happened to you and you live in so much pain. I'm not a Christian, and my life is good. I'm on the top of my game. How has God helped you?"

Often these words are spoken in a bitter tone that seems to contradict the idea that their life really is so good... similar to Professor Radisson in the God's Not Dead film. Often these words seem to be spoken by someone who is young, and possibly immature... now I'm generalizing, but this is based on personal observation/experience, not merely speculation.

Ladd's answer might go something like this...

Well, when I was your age, I had already served two tours of duty overseas as part of a US Marine peacekeeping force defending the freedom of people I did not know; representing a country that I love and willing to die for the freedom we have. I was beginning my career as a law enforcement officer, serving people who did not know me and who often mocked me because of my position, not because of anything I did (or didn't) do personally. While I did not know them, I was willing to put my life in danger for them. I saw the evil that people are capable of when they live for themselves with an attitude that they could take whatever they could get from life, rather than serve and put others first. I saw the hurt that comes from selfish lifestyle and choices, and I saw many people who thought they were "on the top of their game" fall to the bottom because of their self serving lifestyle.

Through my service, I was building character... the part of each of us that exists and comes to the forefront when nobody is around to see. Did I make mistakes? Yes. Did I let those mistakes define me or give up trying to live a life to serve? No.

Yes, some really bad stuff has happened in my life and to me, but... there is a fundamental difference between that bad stuff and the evil that exists around us being perpetuated by selfishness. God did not cause me to get hurt. Rather, He allowed others to make choices, in this case choices to drive impaired or distracted. Their choices, their actions, have caused me great pain. God didn't cause them to make those choices, but he allows each of us to make choices every day. Often the choices we make effect others around us in very profound ways. It was God who walked me through those times in the shadow of those choices, and it is He who is using that experience to help encourage others. If not for His clear presence, I would not be here, and I would rather be "on top of His game" than my game any day.

God has brought me through the effects of evil many times throughout my life, including being shot at and witnessing horrible situations that could easily haunt my memories. He has walked with me as an example of hope despite pain. He has allowed me to be a witness to His healing power and deep compassion. Although in pain, I am content to continue to choose to serve and to put others before me, rather than see people and situations only as what I can gain from them. I am far more happy and content in spite of my difficulties because of the peace I have in Christ. At "the top of His game" I can be at peace with God and myself whatever the day brings, rather than be in constant turmoil seeking what I can gain at someone else's expense.

Being Thankful for "Boring"

Thankfulness Pumpkin Centerpiece

When things go wrong, we realize the full magnitude of so many things we take for granted because they've been going right.

• The sickness of a child - How many healthy children are taken for granted, unappreciated and mistreated or treated like burdens? How many children have parents who fail to thank God for the gift of healthy children?
• The loss of use of a hand - How many times have I given up because I couldn't get something in a tight spot or untangle a knot? How often have I complained because I couldn't carry a big enough load with two hands and had to make another trip?
• The death of a loved one - How many times have I driven past instead of stopping to visit? How many times have I sat in the same room with the TV on and not engaging in the lives of those around me? How many times have I failed to listen and hear?
• A broken down appliance - How many times have I taken food out of the refrigerator or started a load of laundry without being thankful for the opportunity to do so?
• The persecution of Christians - How many times have I sat in my living room with my Bible and various resources? How many times have I listened to Christian radio? How many times have I gone to church? How many times have I acknowledged how much of a blessing it is to be able to do this without fear of violence or persecution?

I've often thought and prayed for "boring" - a section of life where nothing dramatic or unexpected happens. Yet, have I appreciated those times when they came? Or, have I wasted them by not even acknowledging them when they were present? Did I draw nearer to God and thank Him for the average/nothing happening here day? Or, did I coast through unaware until the next crisis, and pray again for boring and uneventful?
Maybe if I appreciated "boring" more, there wouldn't be a need for me to grow through crisis. Maybe I need to be more thankful for the crisis times and for the lessons they have taught me, for the friends they have brought me, and for the growth of my faith in God that they have allowed me to experience. Maybe God knew all along that I would waste the "boring"; yet "boring" really isn't all that boring, but instead a matter of perspective and contentment.
Hmmmm....

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. - Philippians 4:11-13 (ESV)

"Believe it or not, the hospital part is going to be the easy part"

I've written on this topic before, but feel lead to do so again. Forgive the redundancy, I suppose the weight of this topic could be simply because when we walk through life changing trauma, illness or tragedy each moment can feel like an unbearable load that we simply want to get through or past. Yet, with many of these situations, the struggle is ongoing and the changes permanent. Like when running a marathon, we need to do more than just get through it. We need to savor the sparks of light, actively seek each positive as if it were bonus points or extra fuel in a video game. With this in mind, I hope that you find encouragement today!

On the night of my husband's career ending car stop almost 13 years ago, a very dear friend and pastor told me this... "Believe it or not, the hospital part is going to be the easy part." As Ladd underwent surgery to repair numerous internal injuries, including a transected aorta, a ruptured diaphragm and collapsed lungs, I found these words to be surreal. Thirteen years later, no more true words have been said. 
Life after the hospital... when the support dwindles and the reality sinks in... when bills come due and personality changes are evident... when life hits full force and just keeps coming... that is the really hard part. That is the part that takes pulling yourself up by the bootstraps when you would rather curl up in a ball and just give up or run as fast as you can in the opposite direction. That is the part that takes everything you have in you... and then some. Many of you know this all too well, or know someone who is currently walking this path. We each have different struggles and trials, and the reality is that some days are very hard to see as a gift. Yet, we push on. Tonight I challenge each of you to something our family deemed "thankfulness" In good times and bad, when things seemed their darkest, every evening as we sat down for dinner, we went around the table and each member of the family told something they were thankful for. Sometimes that's been hard. Sometimes it was something little like "band aids" (we started this when our son was 6 and he's always been one to get a ding here and there), or "no peas for dinner." Other times it was for big things like getting to stand for a few minutes or take a few steps out of the wheel chair, or being together again after an out of state hospital stay. The point is, by focusing on the blessings, no matter how small some may seem, we were able to pull out of those dark times and move forward into the light. This focus shift would not have been possible without much prayer and without also focusing on God's promise, for His light is able to shine abundantly in the darkest of times.
In just over a week Ladd and I will celebrate our 28th anniversary. In a couple of months, our little boy will graduate from high school. Ladd has walked our little girl down the isle, and we have held our grand babies close. We have cried and we have laughed, but we have done it together.
Our family is closer, our bond is tighter, and our love is deeper because we have shared our hopes, our dreams, our sorrows and our thankfulness. I pray the same for your families tonight and in the days to come. Tonight, I am thankful for all those that are in our lives. Our paths have crossed for a reason, and I am blessed.
God bless you all. 
Goodnight.

Hope Through The Pain

Pain… it is something all of us have known; a headache, a prick of a needle, a tooth ache, or even a broken bone… These are temporary and can be excruciating for a time. We can’t wait for time to pass, the wound to heal and the pain to go away. When it does, we tend to take for granted the time that is pain free, the time that falls between this pain and the next time we step on a Lego or stub our toe in the dark. Chronic pain is something entirely different, and something a few are burdened with day in and day out.

With chronic pain, there is never a break from the pain, only times when the intensity of pain may vary. How do you go on day after day with the knowledge that there is not going to be a break? How do you face tomorrow with hope rather than being consumed with depression and hopelessness?

Ladd’s pain management doctor has frequently commented on his positive attitude and his willingness to get out and work… on his eagerness to be a productive member of society in spite of the great amount of pain he wrestles with. He has commented over and over on patients with far less acute levels of pain who pressure him for disability ratings vs patients like Ladd who seek to manage their pain so they can function and use their abilities rather than be secluded with their disabilities.

While there is no doubt that intense, ongoing pain can be very disabling, what makes some people able to push forward through the pain and continue to serve others in the process? Living alongside of one who has done this for almost 12 years now, I have observed four character traits that appear to be at the heart of living in hope despite pain. 

1) Faith – Faith in God and knowledge that this world, with its pain and disappointment, is only temporary… that Jesus overcame the pain of the cross so that we would one day join Him in Heaven where there is forever no pain. This is the long term view that has a positive long term outcome over a focus on thoughts of 24/7/365 pain that can completely drag down and defeat. In the short term, trust that God’s got things in his control and each day is a new opportunity helps make the most of each day. (John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world. and John 14:2 In my Father's house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.)

2) Servant’s Heart –  The same desire to serve people, to help others in need, that makes a good police officer remains even when that career is no longer possible. Serving others is a heart desire, part of the character of a person, and serving others in need takes focus off of our own needs and wants. (Galatians 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. and Proverbs 11:25 A generous person will prosper;  whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.)

3)  Desire to be Productive – Rather than focus on disabilities and what can no longer be done, there are plenty of things that can be done. Shifting focus to abilities, and off of disabilities, is encouraging and uplifting rather than depressing and self-defeating (This isn't necessarily easy, but it is uplifting). Accomplishing things, even if they seem small compared to tasks from before injury (ie: working 2 hours a day with kids instead of working full time chasing criminals), and contributing to family and community is self-fulfilling and gratifying… leading to hope for what can be accomplished tomorrow. I am a firm believer that God will not call us to do something He hasn’t perfectly equipped us to do.

4)  Work Ethic – Life before pain set in established patterns of working to provide for family and self… not an attitude that anyone else should provide for or take care of us. Dedication to completing the task, even when it’s hard, was a way of life long before tragedy struck. While full time work or career may not be possible, a drive to try - to never give up - is grounded in a solid work ethic. Depending on the season, "work" may be physical therapy, rehab, school or training, etc. (Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, and 2 Corinthians 9:6 Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.)

These four character attributes all contribute greatly to the ability to persevere in spite of incredible pain. Add to that the support and love of family and friends, and you have a recipe for life that has hope in spite of unrelenting pain.

Understanding that chronic pain is draining, and stress compounded on exhaustion can weaken stamina as well as the immune system; allowing for rest and taking care to eat healthy and exercise is especially important for those suffering from chronic pain. There is a fine line between pushing  forward and getting necessary rest. Everyone’s line is different. We all need to balance, and finding it is a daily quest. Sometimes we miss, and fall off the horse. Faith helps refocus so we can get back on and try again… and again. Keep getting back on. No matter how hard the day, there is a sunset on the horizon to ride off into, and I want to ride into it together!

Hasn't Your Faith Been Shaken?

 As I meet people from all walks of life, especially those facing their own huge mountains, there is a question that seems to come up relatively frequently. This leads me to believe that this is perhaps a good topic to share about.
The question "Hasn't your faith been shaken?" ,or something quite similar, has come up often enough that it has caused me to step back and really examine the answer. In all honesty, I have to say that in the years since Ladd's career ending incident, rehab, recovery, re-injury and all that has gone with it; my faith has actually grown exponentially. This is not to say I never asked God why or got frustrated and overwhelmed. I have found; however, that when the crisis is SO big, it is somehow easier to turn it all over to God than when facing the small, every day crisis' that come with just living life.
Somehow, when there is no possible way for me to shoulder a huge burden on my own, I more easily ask for help than when I think I can handle it on my own. Truth is, God doesn't want me to just hand him the big stuff. He does want me to ask for His help though.
I have watched Him, felt Him, pick up the big stuff, and in so doing He touches so many little details that He proves beyond a doubt that He truly cares about me, my family and all of the details of our lives. When I spend regular time with Him, ask Him for help, and listen for answers, He picks me up, dusts me off, and sends me back into the game stronger and ready to play my best.
I suspect that is the same feeling that Ruth had when she and Naomi set out on their own, or that David had when he faced Goliath. With confidence that God has my back, I can face each day/giant without being consumed with worry and weighed down by burdens.
This is not to say I never find myself feeling overwhelmed or worried, but when I do it is most likely because I have let the world take up my time with God. When this happens, it's time for a good sit down, heart-to-heart, often tear filled, talk with God. It's amazing how that can be just the thing to renew my faith and restore my strength.


  

If All of Your Friends Were Going to Jump Off A Cliff...

We've all heard it and every parent has thought it... especially through those teenage years "If all of your friends were going to jump off a cliff, would you follow them?"
These aren't just your mother's words, or some tired cliché. They're actually good, sound biblical advice. Check out 1 Thessalonians 5:6 "So then, let us not be like others, who are asleep, but let us be alert and self-controlled."
God is calling us, His children, to pay attention... to not blindly follow the lost/sleeping over the cliff... to think about our words and actions through His context and filter, not the world, not the media, not the popular crowd or latest trend.
As His children, we are "awake" to Satan's lies and deception, and through Him we have the self-control to step back from the edge and say "not me," "not now," not happening." Maybe - just maybe - when we step away from the cliff, a friend who is sleep walking will step away with us!
So, next time this cliché runs through your mind, think about it in this context... it's not just for teenagers!
 

Spiritual Warfare

How far have we come from the ability to see the big picture? Just like in the days of Elisha in 2 Kings 6:17, there is a very real battle going on all around us, every minute of the day and night. The battle is between God and His angles, and Satan and his demons. God is stronger and more powerful, and will eventually win the war. He's just giving us a chance to choose sides first.

Every time we ask God to step out of the battle, it is not so simple as Him merely stepping out. Satan moves in, just as an earthly enemy takes over and conquers ground not occupied by their foe. We should not be fooled into thinking we can ask God to back off and get out of the battle, and have that be the only result. When we ask God to move out, Satan moves in.

Would you join me in asking God to come back in and conquer the ground we have surrendered to Satan? God will conquer, whether we ask or not, when all have chosen their allegiance. I'm choosing to stand with God's army and would love to stand on the winning side with you.